Betty ford says i'm here all night
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
