Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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