I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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