i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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