Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
