Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
