He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
