well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.