I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize