just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.