it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
