so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
