After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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