just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
