if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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