i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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