I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize