We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
