It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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