There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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