yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
