K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
