Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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