He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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