and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
