It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
