We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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