don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
