I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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