We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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