we have pet lesbian snakes
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
