btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
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my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
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IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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