somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
