How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize