Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
