you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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