How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
