Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
