I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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