I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
false alarm, still single
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
