She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
