this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
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