Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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