so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
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Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
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I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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