He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
