Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
