I think I died a long time ago.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize