I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
a search helicopter?!
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
