Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
