Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
