Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
