Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
