My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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