dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
