Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just found a bag of teeth...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
A bitchslap is in order.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
