i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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