were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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