i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
oh god the rape fog is back!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
