Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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