You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
