You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
