But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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