My Higher Power is John Stamos
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
