Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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