I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This is my gift to your gina
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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