dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
