Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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